My husband and I lost our baby boy, Jacob, the day he was born; February 11th, 2017. A nurse at the hospital recommended this funeral home, and we had no reason not to trust her judgement.
Finally, Mary called me on the 21st. She was obviously frustrated, and made no attempt to conceal that this phone call was an inconvenience to her. Her attitude was unjustly harsh towards me, and to describe her as rude would be a sorry understatement. Need a remind anyone that I'm the mother of a dead baby? I don't believe it's fair to tell me that I'm “stressing her out,” when I'm only seeking to find out if the service I paid for up front was done, and behind the promised timeline at that. Mary then proceeded to say that she “felt pressured.” I can't comprehend the flawed thought process behind complaining about your emotional distress to a woman who just suffered the loss of her newborn.
I received no such phone calls. I took it upon myself to call the funeral home on Friday the 17th, and was told there were "delays." I was told to call back. I called back on the 20th, and was instructed again to call back. The person I spoke to on the phone had no idea where Jacob was or what was going on. I'm grieving the loss of my infant, I shouldn't have to worry or wonder about the status of that infant's remains too.
We met with Mary, the owner, and Jody, her daughter, on Monday Feb 13th. They seemed nice enough.We signed authorization to cremate forms and chose an urn. We were promised that we'd receive a phone call upon their receipt of Jacob's body and upon his return from the crematory they'd be sending him to. Mary said she anticipated picking up Jacob's body the next day, Tuesday the 14th, and estimated that we'd have him back by Friday the 17th.
My husband and I rushed over to the funeral home as to not further annoy this woman with the job we paid her for eight days prior. Upon our arrival, the door was locked and we had to buzz for entry. When we announced ourselves over the intercom, Mary sounded like she didn't expect us. She let us in and then proceeded to tell us that the urn we ordered had not yet arrived, so we could take our son's ashes in the black plastic box provided by the crematory but we'd have to bring them back when the urn arrived. I expressed confusion as to why she hadn't told me that over the phone. She didn't seem to understand the question. I tried to explain that we wouldn't have come if we knew Jacob wasn't ready to come home. Mary then shouted at me, and said she was trying to cater to me seeming like I was in a hurry. She went on a rant about how she had to care for the family of a deceased six year old. I couldn't understand why she would tell me about that if not to belittle my loss and/or illuminate how bad of a day she was having. No offense intended towards her, but she chose to have this be her profession, whereas I did not choose this to be my tragedy. Moreover, the tragedies that comprise her livelihood are not her own, while the loss of my son shattered my world.
With just cause, I became upset. I began crying, and Mary threw her hands up as if to signal how invalid my feelings were to her. She added insult to injury by informing me that, “lots of girls go through this.” Girls? I suppose she meant women, but it's equally reasonable to assume that she chose the word “girls” on purpose to mock me and attempt to make me feel childish for being in emotional agony over the death of my baby.
We had our wake for my wife's mother ( Dominga Diaz) and they treated us so well it's beyond words. The whole process was warm and compassionate and Mary was super! They Prepared our mother in such a way that brought back Memories of who she was before she was diagnosed with Alzheimers. Thank you so much for making our loss more . I true recommend Applebee-McPhillips to help you make this part of your loss easier.
DO NOT USE THIS FUNERAL HOME! They will amplify your stress, trivialize your tragedy, and ultimately fall short of every guarantee they make you. I wish I could give them ZERO STARS!
It invalidates my experience to deny its uniqueness. It belittles my loss to compare it to another. I don't believe we were at all unreasonable, yet we were treated as if we were.
Mary is the best.
Stan K
Mary stated that she was in possession of Jacob's ashes and told us to come get them right before she hung up on me. I already felt broken, and this woman seemed to relish in treating me like nuisance, which made me feel worse.
Applebee Mcphillips Funeral Home Inc is a US Funeral Home based in Middletown, New York. Applebee Mcphillips Funeral Home Inc is located at 130 Highland Ave, Middletown, NY 10940, USA.
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